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Subject: Re: OK wanna buy
To: reuben osas <email@example.com>
From: Jonathan Land <firstname.lastname@example.org>
OKAY LETS SAY I WANNA BUY THOSE ITEMS FROM YOU HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA
SELL THEM CUMULATED PRICE AND HOW DO I KNOW YOU WOULD NOT SWINDLE ME IF I SEND
A CHEQUE TO YOU SAY ABOUT $10-15,000:00 US DOLLARS WILL YOU SEND THE GOODS OVER
IF SO REPLY BY SENDING ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND ALSO CALLING ME ON THESE NUMBER
+234-1-8049252.TRY AND CONTACT ME SOONEST.
Whoa there, Goober,
I'm selling you Made In America military items here, not Taiwanese wind up toys! You mention $10-15,000 dollars after I tell you what I'm selling, and you're worried that I'M swindling YOU? Jesus, man, I'm the one who should be speculating wether or not there is douchebaggery afoot! One of my souvenir downed Apache helicopters goes for $12,000, and that doesn't even function, or come with an air freshener to remove those stubborn charred carcass odors.
I thought you were big time, and while I'm greatly disappointed, I'm willing to accommodate low-end spenders such as yourself, although you could find this stuff in any American Army/Navy surplus store. As we both know a buck is a buck.
Here's what I've got for your budget:
- American Flags - 6000 count in various sizes (from wallet-sized to wallpaper) - $2,000
- Bootleg videos of USO performances featuring Jay Leno. (I'm hoping to get tapes of Bob Hope's final performance in soon) - 30,000 copies on VHS and DVD - $4,000
- American Army Knives (these are like the famous Swiss Army Knives, but they come with utilities like a little Bunsen Burner and spoon to freebase coke) 100 count - $1,000
- Defective guns. These were manufactured incorrectly so they winding up taking the shooter's arm off at the elbow. A great gag gift. 500 count - $10,000
- Rainbow camouflage cut-off denim jumpsuits for infiltration of gay pride parades. 20,000 (w/ neckerchiefs) sizes small to "bear" - $3,000
- Bean Bag Pellets. Great for dispersing riots. 10,000 pellets - $1,000
- Refried Bean Bag Pellets. Great for dousing riots in tasty sludge. Nachos extra. 20,000- $2,000
- Rusty surgical equipment with real caked-on blood. 10,000 pieces - SALE! $100 o.b.o.
- Vietnamese ear necklaces. 15 units - priceless
Do any of these interest you?
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