Subject: Re: Not with my daughter...
From: Jonathan Land <firstname.lastname@example.org>
"Not with my daughter..."
That's what I heard when I went to pick up my date.
"There's no way YOU are going out with MY daughter!"
My girlfriend's father already hated me. C'mon, would you want your daughter to date a high school dropout working for a measly 7 bucks an hour at a dollar store?
So, when he told me I could use this simple system to make at least $1,000.00 in 15 days or less, I didn't believe him.
I guess he realized that his daughter and I were going to continue dating and that his best bet was to help me become successful! He showed me this simple system and you know what... it actually worked!
I'll never forget walking straight into that fast food restaurant and directly into my boss' office. I put my feet up on his desk, looked him straight in the eye and said "You know what, I made more money last night alone than you will make all week! I'm outta here!"
The marketing system I've been using to create this virtual flood of cash is called "Mining Gold On The Internet". Let me assure you.... you've never seen anything like it. This step by step guide is the easiest way for anyone to make an additional income that can grow to...well, the sky's the limit!
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Dear Shameless Schemer,
I appreciate your offer, but frankly, you come off sounding like a bigger tool than every last one of George Bush's yes-men that can't muster the courage to tell the guy there is no word in the English language pronounced "new-cue-ler". I don't even have a high-school education and I know that much.
While parental approval is always preferable, if two people are truly in love, that's the most important thing of all. If I were you, I'd have told your girlfriend's father, "Sir, with all due respect, I will provide for your daughter to the best of my ability, even if I have to fish change out of a wishing well and suck the algae off it for food. You can think of me what you will, but I only have the best intentions, and there's nothing you can do to break apart the bond that we have." And if you really wanted to tick him off I would have added, "You don't deserve to have a child, much less be the grandfather of mine! Whoops, gotta run!"
You think I'm pulling your leg here? You think that your little get rich quick scheme is the answer to emotional contentment and a healthy relationship? Well let me tell you a little story about a parents' wants interfering with their children's happiness to put life in perspective for you.
There was this boy who fell madly in love with a girl when he was just twelve years old, and she loved him just as much. Every moment they shared was bliss. They understood each other in a way that they never felt from another human being before. Their hopes and dreams were one and the same. They both wanted the exact same things out of life, and they even plotted out everything together. Yes, this was one of those grade-school sweethearts, happily ever after deals, that was going to work!
But the boy's parents didn't like his girlfriend at all! They didn't approve of the relationship. They felt she wasn't right for him. That she was a "no-good-nik", a poor influence that would wind up breaking his heart, and that he could do better. They forbade it to continue! The young lovers were forced to steal their precious moments together during school in empty classrooms, utility closets, and even hallway lockers! After a month of this, they couldn't take it anymore, and decided to run away together.
The boy's parents got wind of the plan, and put a stop to it in one of the most hurtful, damaging ways possible. The day that the lovers were going to skip town started normally. In first period math class they didn't even exchange a little glance unless she called on him to answer a question. She did so from time to time so the other students wouldn't be suspicious of their forbidden love. As class was about to let out, there were two police offers standing at the door asking to speak with her! She bolted and was quickly tackled to the ground. The whole school was watching. He tried to help her, but the school psychiatrist was standing there, and he pulled the boy away fast. The boy tried to stab the psychologist in the leg and run to his love, but his only weapon was a glue stick, so it did no good, but probably left a mean bruise.
The boy's parents picked him up from school and brought him home. He was grounded for a year. He heard from her occasionally from jail when she called on the cell phone she bought for him. He managed to keep it hidden all this time. Despite the obstacles in their way, they were still madly in love with one-another, and continued to plan for the future.
A year and a half after their mutual, yet separate incarcerations, the boy was able to visit his lover, friend, and math teacher for a series of hot, conjugalicious visits. While his time of punishment was over, she had three-and-a-half years to go. The couple was dealt a further blow when the girl was given an extra five years after the dna sample of the subsequent child matched that of the forbidden father.
So separately they remained, only talking by secret cell phone on rare occasions. The boy's parents took what was once something beautiful and nice, and turned it into a horror where everyone loses, yet the impetus for it all.... the love... was stronger than ever.
Now I bet you're asking, how do I know about this? Well... that little boy was me! I'm 15 now, and I'm all grown up.
Jail is rough for my beautiful girlfriend, Mary, having been labelled a "pedophile" by her detained peers. Maybe they're just jealous because she's not a guilty criminal like the rest of them. She's just a woman in love with a man in a way that society merely can't understand. Luckily Frank, a shaven-headed, 6 foot 2 woman built like a linebacker helps save Mary from the taunts and violent actions of those who disapprove by day, and spoons with her at night.
I don't know what it's like to be a provider because the Jessup, Maryland Correctional Facility feeds and clothes Mary, but when the day comes that I assume responsibility, I will rise to the challenge. I don't know how, but there will be nothing that can be more harrowing than what we've already endured. I don't know what the future will hold for Mary and I, but we'll do our best to take care of each other and our son once we extract him from the family that Child Services deemed more "suitable" for him than his own!
Love will conquer all, my friend. That's the only lesson there is in life. I've had a wonderful teacher who I've learned it (and algebra) from.
Proud father and future husband,
P.S. I just heard Van Halen's song "Hot For Teacher" on the radio again... I've heard it many times and it still brings a tear to my eye.