The Spam Letters - The Book

Featuring 100+ Spam Letters in an easy-to-read, well-organized, travel/bathroom-friendly format featuring loads of letters not on this site! Help a brother out.

Read some reviews here
Download Chapter 5: A Quick Buck here.

Buy now from:
Amazon (Kindle)
Smashwords (iPhone, iPad, nook, PC, Mac)

If you like the site, please consider picking up the book!

About The Letters

Novelty Shop
Donation Center

Updates, Events, and Book Info:
Back to
The Spam Letters

The spam is
by spammers

The replies are
by Jonathan Land,
except where noted

My other sites:
The Spam Letters
My Consumer Reports
Novelty Shop
Click here for link buttons for The Spam Letters, or grab the one below.

Ranking: 4.6346
Rate the reply:
1 = it sucks
5 = it doesn't

1 2 3
4 5

Related Letters (You might want to start with the first one): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Author's Note: This evidently lost him. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Helene de Grosbois for sending me this bounty in the first place.

Subject: Re: confidentaility
To: hamza kalu <>
From: Jonathan Land <>
Date: 08/08/2001

Jonathan Land,

If you disturb me again i will use african vodoo agaainst you. You will loose your manhood and may die infact i am looking at you now from a calabash of water and wondering if i should strike you dead but i see a girl an innocent girl, her spirit is strong i will let you pass this time.



You're the funniest fucker in the world. I'd like to see your African Voodoo against my American Technology. I'm a top muckity-muck in the Department Of Defense. I'll have a Smart Bomb in your lap faster than you can play Hot Potato with it. They'll be picking those voodoo pins out of the remnants of your ass right up until the funeral.

So seriously, I'm not a cop or anything:

a) Are you even remotely near Nigeria?
b) How many people do you send emails like this out to, and how many actually fall for it?
c) Why did you keep writing back to me when I was obviously yanking you harder than a wood chipper? I could imagine that you deal with a lot of humorless folks in this line of work, and I might be a breath of fresh air.

Essentially, I'm really curious... how well has this racket worked for you?

According to this site: the scam you're running is actually a major industry in Nigeria, so I guess it's going well.


Related Letters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Rate the reply:
1 = it sucks, 5 = it doesn't
1 2 3 4 5
Back to The Spam Letters