The Spam Letters - The Book

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The spam is
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by Jonathan Land,
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Author's Note: The phone and fax numbers given are for the U.S. Secret Service Nigerian scam division. They never called me back, so hopefully Mr. Kalu will just turn himself in. I don't have time for this... I am a busy, busy man.

Subject: Re: not complete
To: hamza kalu <>
From: Jonathan Land <>
Date: 07/30/2001

Jonathan Land,
At least we are making progress but the information is still not complete, we need a beficiary name to the account, your tel and fax number for this will be included in the application.

Here we go!

Name on the account: Ima Fakir (sister in law)
Tel: 202-406-5850
Fax: 202-406-6930

Do you not feel that an account in the US will be more apropriate that is if you have one of course, where i believe we are realy farmiliar with the banking procedures taxes and everyother thing. The eyes of the government of my country are too much on swiss banks, so i hope you understand why i will feel more comfortable with a bank in america.

I hear that Swiss banks have lots of holes in them. Most agencies look right through them. Plus, I have a lot more money in the Swiss account, so the amount to be deposited will probably go unnoticed. The only bank I trust in America is the "Nobel Sperm Bank". If I forget my atm card and I need quick cash, I stop by there, drop my load, and hit the road. They pay well. My most recent trip there took care of braces for 3 of my kids. There are other benefits too: They used my sperm to make that Haley Joel Osment kid. I'm the biological father of an Oscar nominee! I'm what's known as "high class ass" over there.

Seriously, the Swiss (post-WWII) have never done me or my family wrong.

Please do send down the remaining information, in this order.

Your full names and address, your tell and fax number, I believe you are the beneficiary to the account hence we need the full names and address.And then your phone number i can be reaching you on.

I expect your reply so that i can proceed with the registration and submission of the application.

We should be good to go here.

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