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The spam is
by spammers

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by Jonathan Land,
except where noted


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Author's Note: I apologize to my audience for letting this whole Nigerian saga play out for so long... but I honestly can't believe this guy hasn't given up on me yet. The Spam Letters will return to its usual potpourri of porn and other typical spams shortly.

Subject: Re: send info
To: hamza kalu <hamzakalu@yahoo.com>
From: Jonathan Land <jland@incomplete.net>
Date: 07/30/2001

Dr Jonathan Land,

i recieved your email.It seem that you are not serious about the transaction,anyway i have met with my partners and we have concluded to offer you 31% of the funds,if you are intrested we should proceed with the transaction immdiately because we have less than a week for the money to be transfered to your account.So send the information we requested for if you are interested and if you are not you should let me know.

Dr Hamza.

The percentage of my net gain in a project is directly proportional to the percentage of my full attention I give to it. Now that you've upped the ante to 31%, you've just bought yourself a new and improved Jonathan Land then the 25% version you were previously dealing with. I will be exactly 6% more serious then before! As a token of my goodwill I will ensure that this correspondence will contain 6% less jokes.

By my calculations, since my ex-wife recently relieved me of 50% of my net worth, with half of that being earmarked for the support of my 5 ex-children. That means that I now take you more seriously than my ex-wife and any given one of my ex-kids. The level of seriousness is staggered dependent on the age of the child. Does that put things in perspective for you?

Do you understand exactly how seriously I'm taking you now? I've given you a precise quantitative value... what more do you want?

Ah yes, you want my bank info, here we go:

Bank Name and address:

Yodelehhehoo
91 Lederhosen Lane
Umlaut, 8023 Zurich

Account number: F4K3-5UM83R

OK... let's party,
Dr. Jonathan Land

P.S. That's my Swiss back account info... is that ok, or do you need an American bank?

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